We just returned from our annual summer trip to the US and here are a few (hopefully) amusing memories.
- “Bet I’m Sitting Next to Him.” We’re in Toulouse-Blagnac Airport, waiting for our departure gate to be assigned and a group of 20-to-30-something-year-old guys start joking around, just having a good time. A short while later, the gate is announced and we head there. Five minutes later, with a hearty ‘Bonjour tout le monde!’ (Hello everyone!), the same group of guys arrives, led by a guy easily over 300 pounds/140 kilos. We’re going to our connecting flight to Amsterdam on a small commuter plane with just two seats on each side of the aisle. I turn to the lovely missus and say… As it turns out, I didn’t.
- “If Lorna Patterson Starts Singing, I’m Gonna Start Praying.” Remember the scene in ‘Airplane‘ when the flight attendant played by Lorna Patterson starts singing to the little, sick girl? If not, here’s the clip. Anyhoo, shortly after the Fun Bunch above arrived, someone pushes a guy in a wheelchair up to the counter. The guy is in a hospital robe AND he has an IV bag hooked up. During the flight, his IV bag is suspended from the overhead storage bin. I’m hoping he planned on hitting some of the Amsterdam coffee houses.
- “But Wait! There’s More!” Still waiting for our flight to start boarding I look up and see someone I know. Not someone I know personally, but know of. It’s the FR singer Christophe Mae. I tell this M and she just shrugs. He goes and sits with the Fun Bunch. They’re his entourage. Later, some girls come up and get their picture with him. On the flight, Monsieur Mae is the only passenger without a seatmate.
- “Zero-G on an A330.” Christophe and his entourage get off in Amsterdam. They’re not going to DC like we are. But M, D and I are given upgrades into business class. Life is good. The flight in uneventful, if just a little bumpy. I put the seat in ‘recline’ mode and doze off for a while. I ‘miss’ the light meal they serve about 90 minutes before landing. About an hour before we’re supposed to land, I wake up and lift the blinds on the windows next to us. I see nothing but thick storm clouds. A little while later I see lightning in the clouds and point this out to M. She sees the clouds and says, “For a lot of clouds, there’s been very little turbulence.” The moment – and I mean the moment – she says the ‘sss’ sound in ‘turbulence,’ the plane drops. I don’t know how far it dropped, but everyone was lifted out of their seats. D saw a male flight attendant who hadn’t managed to strap in and was lifted off the floor and then landed heavily back on it. We still had 45 minutes to go before landing and the plane was bopping all over. I was glad I missed the last pre-landing meal. After 10-15 minutes, we finally got below the clouds and the rest of the flight was easy.
- “We Got Musicians Coming and Going.” Coming back, we board our flight in Amsterdam to head back to Toulouse. M is a row ahead of me. A young, tattooed guy sits next to her (I get a guy who closed his eyes and fell asleep two minutes after take-off). They chat. The guy is a member of Fishtank Ensemble, a five-person group specializing in Balkan Flamenco music. Alrighty then. The rest of the band is scattered throughout the aircraft. They were starting their European tour in France before heading to Italy, Montenegro and Macedonia.
- “Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign.” During our car travels, J was fascinated by roadside signs. Here are a few:
I assume this is the official cigarette store of the Washington football team.
Good times.
Okey dokey.
Alas, we didn’t go eat there.
Who could ask for more?
Apparently, someone with a sweet tooth.
I wouldn’t tell ’em ‘no.’
With two g’s, they must be BIGG.
Doesn’t look like a Black Cat.
I ‘done more’ so I need to ‘throop.’
Insert your own punchline.
Back next time with the apocalyptic storm at the Chincoteague Pony Round-Up.
Newmans of Leguevin 